YTP- DELIVER US Transcript
This is the transcript for YTP- DELIVER US by Awful Fawful and Atronach's Auara. Transcript * (The video begins with Spongebob in his "jolly good rookie" costume flying past a planet shaped like him. He winds up in a vaporwave like environment, floating amongst a cube made of Painty the Pirates, giant krabby patties, and a sign that reads "The KKK".) * (A title card reading "Pizza Delivery" is shown, only to mutate into "Deliver Us". A montage of trippy Spongebob characters standing on a giant, spinning pizza appears, including multiple Spongebobs worshiping a Spongebob deity, Zodiac Squidward, and Patrick in blackface. A bunch of different creatures made of pizza flash by.) * (Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fly past a road, then Spongebob appears and starts ripping himself in half repeatedly. He turns into a number countdown as a pizza appears behind him. He then proceeds to inflate Mrs. Puff.) * (The trippiness continues. Handsome Squidward flails in front of a gravity-defying city. Sandy blows past a line of Squidwards. A live action footage of an aquarium plays behind a Spongebob with black pits for eyes. The Spongebob starts playing along to the music.) * (Fade to the author's names: Awful Fawful and Atronach's Auara. Cut to something more coherent. A fish is shown sitting in traffic, working in his cubicle, waiting in line (in front of Schnitzel, no less), smoking, and sitting in a restaurant. He looks into a glass and remembers his childhood.) * (He walks home, only to look through the window and see Mr. Krabs fucking his wife. He goes to the Krusty Krabs and hangs himself.) * (Cut to Spongebob flying around in his boots in front of the Krusty Krab. The restaurant starts flying and opens up like a treasure chest., letting a bunch of fish go flying out. A line of characters start orbiting it. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Spongebob fall inside.) * (Transition inside to show that Mr. Krabs is tied up, armless, and dead. An insane Squidward has just boarded up the door.) * Squidward: 'Hurry up with those chairs, Spongebob! * (Cut to Spongebob eating chairs) * '''Spongebob: '''I've got diarrhea! * '''Squidward: '''It's after closing, and I'd like to die. * (Spongebob clutches an anime pillow.) * '''Squidward: '...of anticipation. * (Spongebob's face flushes away. His body starts ringing like a phone as eerie music starts playing.) * 'Squidward: '(Concerned) Sponge? * (Spongebob keeps ringing.) * 'Squidward: '''Sponge? * (Spongebob's face returns. He puts a machine gun on the table and cocks it.) * (Heavily confused, Squidward answers the phone.) * '''Squidward: '''Hello? * '''Spongebob: '(On the telephone) Ready to go? * (He starts blowing into the machine gun.) * '''Squidward: '''SPONGEBOB! * (Spongebob shoots himself in the mouth.) * '''Squidward: '''AH! * (Mr. Krabs snatches the phone away from him.) * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Ahoy, there! Krusty cock! How can I help you? * '''Man on Phone: '''All black people leave the store now. * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Great idea! (Cut to him yelling and Spongebob falling over) Get out! Everybody get the fuck out! * '''Squidward: Mr. Krabs, we don't serve black people. * Mr. Krabs: 'Oh. Heh heh. * (Cut to outside the Krusty Krab. A neon signs announces "Open Forever". A fish suddenly appears out of the darkness.) * '''Fish: '''I'll take a- * (He disappears. Cut to Spongebob sneaking around in the bathroom. A clone of him is playing with a ball of energy. He looks in a bathroom stall to see a little girl shark.) * '''Spongebob: '''Hello, young lady! (He lunges inside and starts raping her. An adult shark appears.) * '''Adult Shark: '''Hey, that's my family you're fucking! * (Cut to Mr. Krabs beating up a plate of patties. They fly off and land on top of Squidward like hair.) * '''Mr. Krabs: '''How are you liking them patties, bitch?! (He starts wigging out as an anime intro plays) * (The fish from earlier comes inside and taps Mr. Krabs on the shoulder.) * '''Fish: '''Excuse me? * (Mr. Krabs freaks out and has a Vietnam flashback. Spongebob is shown screaming. Mr. Krabs looks at a body in horror. Sandy fights a soldier armed with a shield. The lifeguard clutches a dying Spongebob. Plankton screams as his plane crashes and explodes. Cut back to "reality".) * '''Mr. Krabs: '''I didn't do it! * '''Fish: '(Strangely) Yeah, I'm ready to order. * 'Squidward: '''I'm sorry, sir, we're closed- (Mr. Krabs slaps him aside) * '''Mr. Krabs: '''What'll you have? * '''Fish: '''I'll take a- (Makes an unintelligible, high-pitched noise. Mr. Krabs is confused. The fish forms a photo realistic mouth and spits out Patrick.) * '''Mr. Krabs: '(Wigging out) Of course we have pizza! * 'Squidward: '''Mr. Krabs- (Mr. Krabs grabs him by the penis) * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Shh. Or you're fired. * '''Spongebob: '''Mr. Krabs? (The fish is gone.) He's gone. * (Cut to Mr. Krabs and a menagerie of characters reacting.) * '''Daphne: '''He's disappeared! * (Zoom in on Mr. Krabs twitching) * '''Squidward: '''Well, of course! Who wants a pizza at three in the morning? * (Cut to Patrick lying in bed swarming with flies, his pillow damp with blood and surrounded by drugs. His alarm clock rings. His soul turns the alarm off.) * '''Patrick: '''Oh, boy, 3 AM! * (Cut back to Mr. Krabs in a king costume.) * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Nonsense, me boy! This pizza is what all true delivery squids strive for. (He shows an irritated Squidward a pizza with his mother on it, frightening him.) It's got ''you written all over it! * '''Squidward: '''Mother?! * (Mr. Krabs laughs) * '''Squidward: '''Can't you just get Spongebob to do it?! * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Oh, no no no no no, lad! You know the rules! * '''Spongebob: '''And so do I! * '''Squidward: '''But-but-but-but-but- * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Don't throw your butt sex at me, Mr. Squidward! * '''Squidward: '''Nazis! * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Wha?! * (Cut to Spongebob and Squidward putting Patrick in the oven. Spongebob stabs himself with a spatula, Squidward's head deflates, and a bunch of characters start coming through the door. Cut to Mr. Krabs looking sad. Cut back to Spongebob and Squidward standing on a weird symbol. Cut back to Mr. Krabs. Spongebob and Squidward rise up on either side of him.) * '''Spongebob: '''Bye, Mr. Krabs! (He leaves with Squidward. Sobbing, Mr. Krabs puts up a Help Wanted sign. Cut to the Krusty Krab on a flying island in an acid trip. Spongebob is taking out the trash. Cut to Mr. Krabs in his office. The door cracks open. Nobody is there. Cut to Spongebob and Squidward looking over something.) * '''Squidward: '''What's that? Is that Mr. Krabs? * '''Spongebob: '''Yeah. * (Cut back to the black door. Something runs out and attacks Mr. Krabs. Cut back to Squidward and Spongebob.) * '''Squidward: '''And is that 'the heart? * '''Spongebob: '''Yeah. * '''Squidward: '''Ooh yeah, looks good, huh? * (Cut back to Mr. Krabs' office. Nosferatu appears in the doorway.) * '''Spongebob: '''Mr. Krabs, are you okay? (Cut to him standing inside a hole in the wall) * (Cut to Nosferatu looking pleased. He turns off the lights. Cut to Mr. Krabs lying dead in the dumpster wearing a BSDM suit. Spongebob strokes him, then laughs. He reads the side of the dumpster.) * '''Spongebob: '''Squidward is the- * (The video glitches out. Cut to Spongebob inspecting the boat.) * '''Spongebob: '''Check! Bumper! * (Another Spongebob comes out of the license plate. The old one turns into a skeleton.) * '''Spongebob: '''Check! * (Cut to Squidward looking off to the side. Spongebob peers at him through a window.) * '''Spongebob: '''Hey, Squidward! (Squidward is shocked) I can see you through this little window! (Spongebob stretches out his neck and starts sprouting extra arms. Squidward's pupils disappear.) * '''Squidward: '''Hurry up, Spongebob! * '''Random Man: '''What happened to your eyes? * '''Spongebob: '''What? I gotta have my brain food! (He flicks a switch. The entire video goes into acid trip mode.) Check! (He hops into the car) Vehicle inspection complete! * '''Squidward: '(Throws off his hat) Good. Then you drive. * 'Spongebob: '''I can't. I'm still in boating school. * '''Squidward: '''Come on, Spongebob. BACK IT UP! * '''Spongebob: '''BACKING UP! (They fly backwards) BACKING UP! (They drive so fast they go back in time) Backing up... Backing up... Backing up... * '''Squidward: '(Starts fighting him for the wheel) Gimme the wheel, Spongebob, give! Me! The! Wheel! * 'Spongebob: '''Backing up! (they start rolling over a pile of bodies) Backing up! * (Squidward screams. They drive towards the sphinx. Another Squidward puts a Squidward nose on it.) * '''Artist Squidward: '''There! Now it's art! * '''Spongebob: '(Drives right through it) Backing up! (Artist Squidward's nose and head fall off) Backing up! Backing up! (They drive to Europe) * 'Squidward: '''Spongebob! (They drive through traffic) * '''Spongebob: '''I got it! (Screams) * (Cut to a headline that reads "Fictional Guy Drives Animated Car Into People) * '''Spongebob: '''Backing up! Backing up! Backing up! (They mow down a crowd. Cut to the car flying down the street and through the air, much to Spongebob's delight and Squidward's terror. They drive to Sweden.) * '''Spongebob: '''Backing up! (A bunch of clones of him drive through the hills.) Backing up. * '''Squidward: '''You ''fucked ''up! * '''Spongebob: '''I fucked up. * '''Squidward: '''And you know what? I think I've got gas! And, you know what else? (Cut to Courage the Cowardly dog's house) We're in the middle of Nowhere! * '''Spongebob: '''And you know what else else? I think I'm Spongebob. (Squidward does a double take.) * '''Squidward: '''No, Spongebob, you're ''gay! (He kicks the boat, triggering another acid sequence. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are shown falling off a building) * 'Spongebob: '''That's funny! * (Cut to the two boys walking through the desert.) * '''Squidward: '''Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. * '''Spongebob: '(Singing) The Krusty Krab pizza... is the pizza... for you and me! * 'Squidward: '''Please kill me! * '''Spongebob: '(Pulls out glock) Sure, buddy! * 'Squidward: '(Runs for life) Wait, wait! * (Spongebob shoots him. Cut to black. Cut back to Spongebob and Squidward walking endlessly though the desert in a multicolor void. The credits of the original episode play. The video ends.)